Yesterday, January 2nd, I did one of the hardest things I ever had to do. With the help of my brother, I left my mom in a nursing home for long term care. She turned 88 on December 29th. She spent that day at Reliant Rehab. She was there to get stronger, which she has, but they also determined that her decision making skills have diminished and suggested that she could no longer be left alone. That means that I could no longer keep her in my home.
Mom has lived with us since September 2000. We always knew there would come a day that I wouldn't be able to meet all her needs and that we would have to move her to a place that could take better care of her than I could by myself. That day has come.
As I write this, I don't know how her first night in her new home has gone. I am trusting it is well because I am sure that I found the best place possible for her. Hearthstone Health Care is a beautiful facility with lots of caring people on their staff. They have very high ratings with the State of Texas (90% better than most nursing homes in TX). Everyone who works there has a smile on their face. Everyone I spoke to says they LOVE their job because everyone gets along and is Happy. That's the kind of people I want to take care of my mother when I am not able.
I stopped people in the parking lot a week before we took mother there and asked them what they thought of the care that their family members were getting. They had only good things to say about Hearthstone.
I feel good about my choice for Mother's new home. She will have opportunities to make friends that she wouldn't have in my home. She will not be lonely unless she chooses that for herself.
And I will have the best of both worlds. Mother will be safe and well cared for. I will be able to visit, play games, take her out for lunch, bring her to all family celebrations, and even bring her home for short periods to visit. I will enjoy every moment I have to spend with my mom, without the stress and worry that she is getting what she needs to prosper.
But still........
Leaving mom at the nursing home was like leaving my boys on their very first day of school. You know it is the right thing, you know they will be okay. But you see that lost look of 'the unknown' in their eyes and you want to scoop them up and take them home. But you don't because you know it is the right thing to do. Sometimes doing the right thing just PLAIN SUCKS!!!!
Now I move past that and start today with a smile. I will be positive. I will be grateful. I will tell those around me that I love them. I will tell people Thank You when they do me a service or are kind to me and my family. I will take every opportunity to make the most of every day and enjoy life to the fullest.
I am truly BLESSED.
2 comments:
You will always be there to check on her,sometimes we just have to have someone help us with those we love.
Pam, putting my Mom in a secure unit of an assisted living facility was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done. But, you know what, with time, that was home, and she didn't like being away from it for more than a few hours at a time. My day job is to inspect nursing homes. I haven't inspected Hearthstone, personally, but have only heard good things. If you need anything, just hollar.
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